his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
