You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
