i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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