i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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