What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
