oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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