Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
