Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize