think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
