This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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