Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize