How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
50% drunk capacity currently
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
