I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
