I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
