I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
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Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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