You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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