you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Alive.
So much puke
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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