I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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