Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
