So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
