i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
