i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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