I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
