I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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