Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize