sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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