I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
