Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
