After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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