Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
