Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
