I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we made out on top of his cat.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
