I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
