hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
