Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
