Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
