but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
