So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
