dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
