ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize