I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
