So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
