wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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