he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Found the puke drawer
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
