she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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