JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
