She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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