She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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