Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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