I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
