Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
