I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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