; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
