We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I think my fart just growled at me.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
