i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
