its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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