I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
