Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Betty ford says i'm here all night
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
