It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
