I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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